A Moment in History

Posted by Rob Ferguson

With all the current publicity over the newly refurbished Concert Hall being

re-opened this week I thought our members might like to read this little poem about my only accidental claim to fame.

In 1932 at the official opening of the Sydney Harbour Bridge, Captain de Groot rode up on his horse and beat the

Premier - Jack Lang - to the cutting of the ribbon. 

So 

THE DE GROOTING OF LADY HASLUCK

See the source image

A copy of this poem is held in the Wolanski Foundation Archives of the Sydney Opera House.

Click "Read more" below to enjoy Rob's poem

 
 

Just a dirty ugly building

Not a sight to please the eye

It rather spoiled the landscape

Quite a blot against the sky

Though in lists of famous landmarks

Always standing at the head

 Not Big Ben or Windsor Castle

But the Sydney Tramway Shed.

 

Now round about the harbour

It peeved the honest folks

Always suffering and enduring

 Foreign tourists’ stupid jokes

‘This tramway shed’s stood long enough’

They cried with indignation

‘We’ll show these fancy foreigners

We’re a cultured bloody nation.

 

‘We’re sick and tired of being made

Australia’s laughing stock

Let’s build a mighty edifice 

Upon this hunk of rock

We’ll have the leading architect

Italian, Dane or Scouse

Convert that filthy tramshed

To a shining Opera House’

 

Now Joern Utzon up in Denmark

Was sitting on the beach

When he spied a pile of shellfish

Just there within his reach

He rummaged through his fishing box 

To find some Tarzan’s Grip

And the shells he glued together

  Made a seashell sailing ship

 

As he stood back and admired it,

The gleaming shell-rigged barque,

Inspiration came upon him

He’d go have himself a lark

 I’ll take it to Australia

He told his little spouse

And use it as a model

For the Sydney Opera House.

 

Well the rest of course is history

As the whole of Sydney knows

But the project got to smell a bit,

A little on the nose,

’Cause the model made of seashells

Was the Premier’s only guide

And he sacked poor Utzon when he found

A shellfish dead inside.

 

Well soon they had it ready, 

Its sails as white as Persil,

But before HM the Queen arrived

They held a dress rehearsal

A concert for recording

A dinkum slap-up do

With the SSO conducted

By the great Van Otterloo.

 

They wanted someone famous

As the special guest of honour,

So they brought in Lady Hasluck

All the eyes would be upon her

But they hadn’t any ushers

So they scouted round the town

And rustled up some uni blokes

In academic gown.

 

Now my dear you were an usher,

Just as handsome as could be

In your fine resplendent flowing robes 

Befitting your degree

With no other guests to usher in

No stragglers left to chase

You thought it time to slip inside

And quietly take your place.

 

Well you had no way of knowing

Every eye within that hall

Was glued with rapt attention

You could hear a needle fall

’Cause the MC for the evening

Only seconds just before

Had drawn the crowd’s attention,

To your very entrance door.

 

‘Not once’, said he, ‘in the history

Of this Opera Tramway Station

Has anybody yet received

A standing loud ovation

Any second from that doorway

Lady Hasluck will appear

So please be all upstanding,

And give a rousing cheer’.

 

’Twas at that very moment

My dear that you appeared.

The audience erupted

And stood and stamped and cheered.

They thought you were vice-regal

In your academic gown

But then they twigged to their mistake

And laughingly sat down.

 

You didn’t know what hit you

 You couldn’t understand

Why people slapped you on the back

And rushed to shake your hand

You signed a neighbour’s programme

Confused by all the mystery

An unsuspecting footnote

 In our operatic history.

 

Well the memory of that evening

Has not faded with the years

’Cause you’ve told the tale so often

And bored us all to tears

So my love has one condition

Never once more in my life

Should I hear how you de Grooted

The Governor-General’s wife.